Fairy-ish tail

INTRO

Hi, I’m Jeff, A.K.A the big bad wolf in the Three Little Pigs story.  Well that horrible rumour about me wasn’t true at all. Here I'll tell you exactly what happened that fateful day.  Once upon a time, I was making a nice sculpture for my mother's birthday but I didn’t have the materials to make it. ‘‘THIS IS A BIG NO, NO... I CAN'T MAKE A STATUE FOR MY MuM WITHOUT MATERIALS!’’ I said in horror.  But then I thought, maybe, just maybe, a nice visit to my neighbour could fix this calamity.

PARAGRAPH 1

So I went to my first neighbour who was pretty stupid, he had built a house out of straw.  ‘‘Excuse me, do you happen to have some spare straw leftover for me to use?’’ I asked politely.

‘‘NO WAY YA HAIRY BALL-OF-FUR,’’ he rudely replied.

Well, just as I was about to say something to him about his nasty behaviour, my nose started to itch.  ‘‘A AA Achoo.’’  To my disbelief, the whole house got blasted away.  Then there, in the middle of the straw, lay a BIG, FAT, HAIRY pig! ‘‘Chomp burrp!’’  Well you know you can’t just leave a perfectly good dinner lying there, it'll rot. Then I kindly stole er… borrowed some straw from his house.

PARAGRAPH 2

Now that I had some straw, I needed to find some wood.  Luckily for me, the second little pig wasn’t much brighter than his brother and had built his house out of wood.

Knock, knock.  ‘‘Hello there, do you happen to have some spare kindling left over?’’

‘‘NAH YA HAIRY RUNT’’ he nastily replied.

Then his stinky breath triggered my nose.  ACHOO.  The whole house fell down.  In amongst a pile of rubble, a pig’s tail stood out.  After close inspection, I discovered the porker wasn’t moving and he was as dead as a doornail.  Dinner number two had served itself up to me. It wouldn’t be right to leave him there to decay slowly and stink the place out.  

PARAGRAPH 3

Then the last material...bricks.  And I totally lucked in. There was a house of  bricks a few metres away. ‘‘Excuse me sir, do you happen to have any leftover bricks?’’ I asked kindly.

‘‘NO WAY YA OVERGROWN WOLF’’  

‘‘Umm there is a steamroller coming towards your house’’ I replied, as I was annoyed with his rude response.

‘‘YEAH RIGHT” The pig responded.

’Ok i’ll just scoot over to the side and”…...CRASH, SQUEAL VRRR. 

There on a dinner table was a flattened, juicy PIG!  YUM... nibble, nibble. Umm... just consider that as a small snack before bed.

Conclusion

Now that I've got all the materials for the sculpture,I can build it! 5 minutes later ...Ahhh the beautiful sculpture is finished... I’ll call it PORK CHOP!.